camming: Having “sex” via the Internet, with webcams allowing viewing of the action, either one way or both ways.
cane: A thin rod used for striking. Commonly made of hardwood, bamboo, or acrylic.
canning: A common misspelling of “caning” (see cane above).
cat o’ nine tails: Whip with nine tails or lashes. < catheter: A specially designed tubular device, usually soft plastic, inserted through the urinary channel into the bladder in order to drain it. Used medically when a person is unable to relieve themselves normally, as in after injury or surgery, or during serious illness or unconsciousness. In BDSM, used in urethral play. Safety caution: The bladder in healthy people is a sterile environment. Inserting a nonsterile catheter, or using the catheter to inject fluids into the bladder, may cause serious infection! cell popping (see microbranding, body modification): A small metal poker is heated until glowing red and gently applied to the skin for one second. A design is formed by a series of dots made by the poker. This body mod is considered a temporary branding lasting anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months, depending on application and individual healing factors. 8chastity: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the choice of their partner; sometimes by means of a device called a chastity belt (or for men a cock cage) that prevents stimulation or makes it painful. (deFUNition: cruel and unusual punishment!) chat speak: A way to condense IM or text messages to a minimum of characters or letters. Not to be confused with acronyms. checklist A listing of BDSM and fetish activities used to determine the experience, willingness, and desire of participants for the various activities by both Tops/Dominants and bottoms/submissives. The activities are typically rated on a scale. (For example’ “0” may mean “I never want to experience this” (ahard limit) and “5” may mean “I want to do this as often as possible!”) chemical play: Using chemicals to produce sensations. Examples: wintergreen oil, Tabasco sauce, tiger balm, ginger, peppermint, rubbing alcohol, toothpaste, menthol, etc. Caution: should be tested on less sensitive tissues first! circle jerk: When a group of males all stand in a circle and everyone jerks the person os either the right or the left of them. cisgendered: The word has its origin in the Latin-derived prefix cis, meaning “to/this the near side”. In short, a ‘girly girl’ or ‘manly man’. Clan: see Family, below. clover clamp: A specific type of nipple clamp consisting of a clamp with a lever mechanism to which a chain or cord is affixed in such a way that pulling on the chain or cord increases pressure on the clamp. cock milking (see p-gasm, prostate massage): The practice of forcing a male to discharge semen through the penis through prostate massage without experiencing orgasm. Uses: (1.) In Domination/humiliation play, to arouse, frustrate, and/or humiliate a submissive by causing intense sensations and the involuntary “milking” of semen while denying orgasm; especially effective in the presence of witnesses. (2.) To enhance pleasure (for any male, not just submissives!) by giving an extremely pleasurable sensation, similar to that of orgasm, for an extended period of time. cock ring: A device put around the penis to keep an erection. Collar, Collared, Collaring capitalization note: It is a convention among some persons to capitalize the term “Collar” as a form of respect for the Ownership it symbolizes. That convention is used here, but it is by no means universally recognized. Collar: Any symbol used to represent that a submissive or slave is Owned. Often an actual Collar, but can also be anything from a anklet to a bracelet to whatever the “couple” decides it to be. Collared: The state of a submissive or slave who is the consensual partner of a Master or Owner, usually in a long-term relationship. Sometimes referred to as Owned. Collaring: 1. The formal acceptance by a Dominant of a submissive’s service. 2. A ceremony celebrating such an event. May be a simple act of commitment between two people, or a formal ceremony similar to a wedding. compersion: Feeling expansion in joy and in love when a person you love finds happiness derived from their experience with another person. consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing bdsm relationship. consensual non-consensuality: A mutual agreement that within defined limits, or subject to a safe word or other restrictions, and to common sense, consent to activities is given without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. Very common (and pretty much necessary!) for activities such as kidnap or rape play, where prior discussion would destroy much of the “atmosphere”—like spoiling a surprise party. Examples: an agreement that anything rated “2” or higher in a submissive survey is “fair game” for play, without additional discussion or negotiation; or negotiation of kidnap play in advance, but without disclosing when, where, or the details of the scene. consideration (also under consideration): Consideration is when the person receiving/having power is still considering or deciding whether to accept the lesser-power partner to a closer, more important, or more responsible (etc.) position or relationship. – being collared or enslaved is common, although other relationships “on the right side of the / ” (the slash) are considered. (Pony, pet, submissive, babygirl/boy, toy, girl, boy, owned, property, chastity, service, bottom, Kajirus, Kajira, bottom, masochist, possession, ad kinkituum.) contract (may be capitalized): A written agreement between the Dominant and submissive. Generally, it outlines the structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries of the relationship. It is not, nor is it intended to be, legally binding. Contracts may be used for various stages and timelines of the relationship; for example, there may be one for an online relationship; one covering only the first meeting or first few meetings; one covering a period of time (months or years) after which it may be renegotiated; or for a lifetime. Generally, a Contract cannot be amended; if change is desired, it must be rewritten. Often, there is a separate section for rules, protocols, etc. which can be amended; like the U. S. Constitution’s “Bill of Rights”. The signing of the Contract can be a ceremonial occasion; sometimes it is part of a Collaring ceremony. [Editorial note: will work on finding and posting samples soon.] corporal punishment: Punishment involving pain, often more specifically impact punishment. Any activity involving discipline through physical means. corset: Clothing for shaping the body, usually into an hourglass shape. Used in the extreme it can cause breathing difficulty, and shift internal organs and bones. costume play (see role play): Use of costumes by one or both parties in a scene to enhance the “atmosphere” of role play. Includes professions (police, doctor, etc), historical figures, superheroes, to name just a few possibilities. cracker: Attached to the end of a whip. Makes a loud cracking sound as the whip is snapped. Creampie The original usage seems to be eating semen from a vagina or rectum. Possibly due to the internet, where pictures are as close as we can get, visuals of male ejaculate (cum) dripping, squeezed or overflowing from the vagina or ass hole in which it was ejaculated. Has been called “hair pie” with fresh “cream,” possibly before hair removal was more common. crop: A thin, flexible instrument used for striking, consisting of a rigid but flexible shaft wrapped with leather or a similar material, with a handle at one end and often with a small leather loop at the other. cuckold (see cuckquean): A man with an “unfaithful” long term partner (i.e. a husband and wife where the wife has sex with other people). There are many variations on cuckolding, but the core essence is a couple where the female partner is having sex with other partners. The female partner may have one or more regular lovers or have sexual encounters with strangers. The male may or may not be aware of being cuckolded. The male may be submissive to his partner and/or her lover(s). The male may even dominate his partner and/or her lovers. The male may or may not be present to watch his partner with her lover(s) and may or may not participate with his partner and/or her lover(s). The male may or may not be permitted to have sex with his partner (see chastity) and may or may not sexually interact with his partner’s lover(s) (see bisexual). Since cuckolding requires a long term relationship in order for the fidelity of that relationship to be violated, it is problematic for men who want to be cuckolded but are single or married to someone who does not share their interest. Such men may engage in cuckold role play with women, couples or a hired professional. Crumbs: (See Breadcrumbs) Short for Breadcrumbs. cuckquean: Female version of cuckold (above). In the fetish scenario, the cucquean might enjoy a scenario such as being forced to sit and watch quietly while her partner has sex; again, may or may not be allowed to participate. Conversely, she may be “forced” to exhaustion. cunnilingus: Oral sex performed on a female. 7cupping: To use a suction device on body parts. Commonly glass cups which are done with suction or fire. cutting: The use of a sharp instrument with the intent of drawing blood. cybersex: (cyber) Performing or role-playing sexual acts over the internet. This can be done via text only, or using a web cam and/or microphone.