D – glossary

D-type (for “Dominant-type”): A universal term including all forms of Doms, Dommes, Owners, Tops, etc. (s-type for submissives.)

Dacryphilia: Arousal by tears or sobbing.

damsel in distress (also DID): 1. A submissive who has serious emotional problems, usually caused by an abusive childhood or relationship, or a traumatic experience such as rape. S/he may need professional counseling, or simply time to process hir trauma, before s/he can be in a meaningful relationship. SeeWhite Knight. 2. A type of role play, fetish or scene based on, “Damsel in distress, a classic theme in world literature, art and film.”

‘deer in the headlights’: (see squick, mindfuck) The look on a submissive’s face when she has been squicked or mindfucked. Priceless!

“deFUNition”: A term used within this glossary to indicate that the following text is intended for entertainment, not to be taken seriously.

diaper lover (see adult baby): 1. One who dresses and/or role plays the part of a baby or toddler. 2. One who enjoys wearing and/or relieving themselves in diapers, without necessarily indulging in role play.

dirty keenhole (see keenhole): (v.) To pass feces through a large gauge in his or her earlobe. (n.) The act or fetish of passing feces through a person’s earlobe piercing hole.

discipline (see reward, punishment): Any activity in which one person trains another person to act or behave in a specified way, often by enforcing rigid codes of conduct or by inflicting punishment for failure to behave in the prescribed way.

dollification: the process of evolving, mentally and physically, into a “living doll.” Individuals who desire this process-as well as those who are in the midst of the process or have already achieved an end result-may be described as “dolls,” and most desire as well to be owned. The parties involved in dollification are referred to as “Owner”and “doll”; this is comparable to a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship.
Mental traits of a doll include but are not limited to: enjoyment of objectification and natural subservience, the underlying will to be transformed through one’s own and/or outside forces into a living doll, ultimately, the capacity to feel/see oneself in a dollific manner, which the doll will continuously strive to achieve and/or improve.
While not all who possess these innate qualities will embrace them, it will not change that it is part of who they are by nature.
Physical traits of a doll-in process or complete-include but are not limited to: corsets, stiletto heels, thigh highs/stockings, rubber/vinyl/plastic suits, dresses, skirts, makeup, etc. along with all other body modifications. Long hair to a shaved head, A-cup to DD (and larger), any height, clothed or not, still to feisty-the physical traits are all relative to each individual doll and its own fit into and relationship with dollification.
Ultimately the ideal physical aspect of the doll is set forth by the doll itself, an Owner, or a combination of both.
Note: It is important to realize that there is no intention here to degrade or diminish the doll-particularly, as it may appear to some, in comparison with the Owner. This is a symbiotic relationship: Yin and Yang. Those who are familiar with M/s or D/s relationships are aware of the innate equality of such relationships, paradoxical though it may seem. -@Vanille

Domdrop: The Dominant/Top’s equivalent of “subdrop.” In brief, it’s an emotional condition caused by the sudden drop of adrenalin from intense BDSM play. It can manifest in a variety of emotional responses, including anger or depression. It’s the reason aftercare isn’t just for subs/bottoms. (Also called ‘Topdrop’.)

domestic (usually applied to a slave or submissive): One whose inclination is to serve primarily as a domestic, as in cleaning, cooking, running a household. There may or may not be sexual or other physical contact involved in the relationship.

Dominant: Person who exercises control in a D/s relationship. Can be used for any gender. (See Dom, Domina or Domme below. Also see Master, Mistress.Contrast with Top, which usually refers to the person who exercises control in ascene, and who may or may not be a Dominant “full time”, or may not be the Dominant of the person being controlled in the scene.

Dom: Male (sometimes all gender) form for Dominant.

Domina or Domme: Female forms of Dominant

Dominate: To have power and influence over another person. In D/s, generally refers to having control in a power exchange relationship. (From Latin dominus:“Lord, Master.”) A verb, this is not the title above, .

doormat: Term arising from “being walked on.” (1) A typical vanilla view of the concept of submission. (2) A submissive who desires to be treated as insignificant, objectified, to serve with little or no showing of affection or approval. Such a submissive will often prefer to be a slave or service-oriented.Such a submissive may be perfectly healthy and happy in this role; however, it may also be that s/he is a “damsel in distress” with co-dependency, emotional and/or self-image issues.

Drop: When a top or bottom feels bad some time after playing. Defined in detail as Subdrop, and for Tops there as Topdrop, or in this section asDomdrop. Aftercare is also referenced, as it generally seems to reduce or prevent Drop.

dragon’s tail: An unusual type of whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide triangular piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.

dungeon: A room or area with BDSM equipment and play space. Examples: A corner in a Dominant’s house, a facility owned or rented by a BDSM club, one or more elaborate rooms in a public club catering to the BDSM trade.

Dungeon Master/Mistress (DM): The owner or host of a dungeon facility, or host of a play party. In general, the person in overall charge of an event, whose decisions should be accepted and respected by all attending. (DM can also stand for dungeon monitor, below.)

dungeon monitor (DM): A person appointed to supervise the interactions between participants at a play party to ensure their safety and adherence to thedungeon rules. The DM’s directions must be accepted by all attending. (DM can also stand for Dungeon Master, above.)

dungeon rules (may also be house, group or party rules): A set of rules established by the host of an event or play party, by the Dungeon Master/Mistress, or a group or club. All attendees must agree as a condition of attending. These rules usually address such issues as safety, hygiene, consent, and good behavior.

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