Daddy Dom / Little Girl. DDLG, or dd/lg, is a relationship in which one person is the caregiver or “daddy” and the other is childlike. It is NOT a relationship between an actual father and daughter or any minor. This is a type of BDSM relationship that may or may not involve sex, but often involves play with child-like things, such as stuffed animals, bed-time stories, and spankings. The lg part of the relationship is often called the “little.”
What is a daddy dom? This single question is why we started this site. A Daddy Dom is a slight variation from a traditional dominant in a dominant/submissive relationship in that they must consider their subs inner child dynamic. A typical top/bottom or dom/sub relationship has is based upon a relationship in which the sub will give total control and decision making to their dominant. There are a huge number of scenarios that can play out in these relationships, but in most of them the submissive will ask for a variety of controls, punishments, rewards and work at the beck and call of their master. There can be BDSM, service, humiliation, and degradation that goes along with these typical relationships. This typical relationship is most famously outlined in the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy.
Daddy Doms have a similar role with their “baby girls” or “l’ils” with some twists. Daddy Doms are usually in full control of their li’l, but also have to take care of the social and emotional well being of their baby girl since their sub is in a slightly different mind space than traditional subs. Daddy Doms will work within a series of rewards, rules, disciplines, and consequences with the mind set of their li’l considered. A typical Dominant will defer to typical BDSM punishments, bondage, paddles, humiliation etc. Many of these punishments will not work with a li’l and often times will only aggravate the situation. We will be putting together an article in the future on li’l specific punishments.
DADDY DOMS SPOIL THE HECK OUT OF THEIR LI’L
Another significant indication of a Daddy Dom is that they will spoil the heck out of their li’l. While this should be the expectation of everyone in a relationship, this is usually taken over-board in by Daddy-Doms. Daddy’s will know exactly what their li’ls love, and will provide surprises and presents on a pretty regular basis. (Just like father’s do with their children). Often times these rewards are things that kids love, Teddy Bears, Pajamas, Pretty Candy, and Toys.
Another one of the most identifying characteristics of a Daddy Dom is the close oversight over their li’l in most aspects of their life. They are their protector and will keep their li’l out of trouble. They will often provide oversight of friendships and social encounters. They will also be somewhat possessive and ensure that their li’l is protected from the evils of the world. In my case I will also help facilitate things like “play dates” and make sure that my li’l gets along with her friends. It is common for Li’ls to be very jealous of other girls around their Daddy’s and they will act out in a variety of ways. Daddy’s need to make it very clear to their li’ls how important they are to them and must earn the trust of their partner.
SHAME ON DADDY’S THAT ABUSE THEIR LI’L
Once Littles trust their Daddies, bad Daddies will abuse this trust and take advantage of their li’ls this is some of the worst things I can think of and will cause significant harm to the long term well being of your li’l. Unfortunately I have heard more of these stories than positive stories. This is one of the reasons we have decided to move forward with developing this site. Now given honesty and transparency in this and any relationship can lead to a variety of play adventures. I have found that li’ls are very adventurous and enjoy a wide variety of experiences, with the caveat that they are safe and have no worries about losing their daddies.
i’ve slept with a teddy bear all my life. this may seem insignificant, but it’s really not,. i had my teddy bear with me when i moved in with Master. i held him every night, and was tucked in with him when Master sent me to bed. When i was moved into a kennel for sleeping, the bear moved with me. This was the jumping off point for my D/g relationship with Master. When reaching for my bear one night, i felt especially “small”. i whined in a very little-girl-like manner. And looking up at Master, i felt comforted in a way that piqued something in me.
Later, i expressed to Master my little girl inside. i’ve always been child-like in my wonder and expression of joy and sadness, and Master had told me it was one of the things that endeared me to Him. He had me write an essay about being little, about wanting a Daddy. i poured out my feelings, and when He had me read my assignment aloud to Him, i was in tears. i blushed and was embarrassed at my desire to be little. i was shy about my connection to the little inside me. i was worried that He might reject that part of me, and be unwilling to be my daddy.
All those worries were very much in vain. i first called Him “Daddy” when He was tending to a wound on my hand (a splinter, gone infected.), cleaning it because it was awkward for me to reach. the alcohol burned, and i was shocked at my own self to hear a gasped “Daddy!!” leave my lips. He didn’t even blink. He just kissed my forehead, and told me, “Daddy doesn’t like hurting you like this. it’ll be over soon.” He was right, of course. The pain subsided, and the wound healed over the next few days, but i wrestled with that word, that place. Master, however, was already settling into His role, and later, when i asked Him if it was okay that i had called Him “Daddy”, he smiled gently, and hugged me close. No other answer was needed.
Over the past two years, my little and Master’s Daddy have grown into each other. And the two of us have settled deeply into those places with each other. i read to Him from my Nick Jr. subscription. He laughs and traces the mazes when i tell Him i can’t find the path. i can see His pleasure when i am excited and giggle. i put my arms around His waist, and He holds me and tells me i’m a good girl. and i am. inside our D/g dynamic, i have an innocence, a simplicity, that can’t be had elsewhere. i have an excitement and a wonder that is unsurpassed. i have a trust that can’t be broken. and Master takes all these things, and gives me the counterparts. He is the strong Daddy. He is the comforting hand. He is the responsibility that i can’t handle.
Ageplay, for some, is a separate activity from their everyday selves. Sometimes, i am more or less little, but i have not engaged in separate roleplay style “ageplay” for quite some time. Why? Well, because at some point, i stopped separating my little and my grown up selves. i embraced my little, even in the midst of being grown-up melly. My Master/Daddy understands this. We shifted into that gradually. Initially, i would put on a special t-shirt, put my hair up in braids. Turn on the TV to cartoons. It would take me a bit of time to “get into” being little. Now, it’s natural, and an inclusive part of my behavior. i don’t dress a particular way, or do anything special to send me into little space, though sometimes, i’ll pull my sippy cup down, and i often color to relieve stress and gain a sense of achievement from Master by showing Daddy my pretty pictures.
The D/g dynamic has vastly improved our relationship, because of the behaviors inherent in being little. trust, often fostered over a long period of time, came quickly. Fears were lost in the face of the wide-eyed wonder of a child. Communication flows freely between little melly and her Daddy, and she never has to worry about being judged. Even in the BDSM sense, things that grown-up melly might feel shame for become innocent in light of a child’s sense of exploration. Fears are only fears, and can be overcome. When i AM afraid, i can be comforted, and allowed to cry.
Emotionally, i am more stable when i am able to actively engage my little on a continuous basis. Mentally, i am more whole when i can allow this part of me to not only come out, but be ever-present. It IS who i am. i can no more erase her than i can erase my hand. Even if i remove it, there will be a stump, and something will be missing.
Just tonight, i asked Master, “Why do you like being my Daddy?” His response: “I don’t know… there’s just something about it. something .. important.” Indeed. Something very important. To us, having this dynamic is a closeness and a comfort. Master has never been a Daddy before. i’ve never been able to integrate my little into myself as fully as i have. Actually, i think i am about as fully integrated as i can get. And i think that’s very very good, for both of us.
i do realize that not all people do it like we do. It is perfectly fine to put on your hair ribbons and ageplay a single scene every few weeks. That’s just not what we do. i’m a 24-7 little girl, just like i’m a 24-7 slave. Sometimes, it’s more overt, sometimes, more subdued, but it is a very real and very important part of who i am. i am growing into BOTH of those identities more fully every day, learning more about myself in the process. i honestly hope i never stop!
Every night, i tell Master, “You’re the best Daddy in the whole world…” and true to His form, He replies, “i’m really glad you think so.” He IS the best Daddy for me. And i am the best little girl for Him. it’s now integral to our relationship, not added on. it’s who WE are.
In the world of D/s relationships, Doms and subs have different titles, sometimes depending on the dynamic or based on comfort between the couples. While most people are familiar with Master/slave or Master/pet, there is a “gentler” and more lenient dynamic and that is DD/lg. DD/lg stands for Daddy Dom and little girl, but it also known as Daddy Dom and babygirl. Do not be fooled by the name though, it is not gender specific, there are Mommies and little boys as well. It still involves a Dominant (male or female) and a submissive (male or female). Some other names for the dynamic include CG/l (Caregiver/little) and Big/little.
The elements around the D/s lifestyle are pretty similar to that of your typical one which includes guidance, protection, training, and devotion. What makes it different from other well known branches (Master/slave and Master/pet) is that the submissive holds an inner-child side and ageplay is often incorporated in it, so not every Dom is interested in it because of the this. The power exchange between the Daddy/Mommy and little is often lower versus a TPE (total power exchange). There are also different expectations for a little than a slave, for example. Protocols and the expectations may be different or much more relaxed. The dynamic instead focuses on care and guidance for the little, where rules enforced ensure that. While the Daddy stills holds characteristics of a typical Dom, he now also plays a more intimate and nurturing parental role. He does not take the place of a true father figure that is in His sub’s life. Engaging in incest roleplay is not uncommon though and should not be judged.
What is a Daddy Dom or Mommy Domme?
A Daddy, Mommy, or any other Big is a type of Dominant partner. The Big can be of any gender and age group. It’s a common misconception that a Big has to be a lot older than the little but this is completely false. While experience does come with age, age alone is not what makes a person Dominant. Some Daddies are strict, while others are more relaxed. It all depends on the person, connection, and the power exchange. Daddies focus more on guidance and nurturing their little, helping them grow as a person and explore theirselves. This isn’t to say that other Doms don’t do the same but their reasons behind it may be different.
Being a Daddy is more than sex and having the ability to control. Being a Daddy is more than just giving spankings. “Daddy” is more than just a name or a title. It’s a mindset, it’s a personality, it’s a way of being. And most importantly it’s a great amount of responsibility. To a Daddy, his little is his world and the feeling is mutual. He may see them through the eyes of a parent, but this is not to say that the relationship is incestuous at all, or that the Daddy takes the place of the little’s father. They are his most prized possession and a work of art, not in terms of physical appearance, but showing his skill and care as a Dominant. They take on the responsibilities of their little’s life, helping relieve some of the stress and guiding them through every day obstacles.
A Daddy sees potential in his little and does his best to bring it out. Think of finding a rough gem, it’s a gem crafter’s job to cut and shine that gem to show its true potential. Rules are set in place to make sure their little is taking care of themselves. These rules can apply to how they carry out their day, reminding them to take care of proper hygiene, allowing him to choose what they wear, making sure they’re eating healthy, and if they’re on medications that they’re taking them daily. These rules can also apply to internal factors such as encouraging a little to speak up if they’re feeling down, self conscious, or feel that their needs are not being met in the relationship. These rules of encouragement allow the little to speak their mind without fear of being punished or yelled at. And of course there can be rules set in place that are how the little should act towards their Daddy and how to meet his needs. It’s important to emphasize that these needs are not always sexual; submission can be carried out in many different ways. Chores and assignments may also be given to help teach the little responsibility.
When a little acts out of line, it’s his job to teach them right from wrong. Punishments may be given to teach a lesson and they can range from physical punishments, to extra chores, to writing assignments, to loss of privileges. A Daddy does not like punishing his little though, in comparison to how a sadist likes to inflict pain on their bottom. There is no enjoyment in being disappointed and let down, having to correct behavior, or see their little cry with shame. The punishment is not about giving pleasure through pain but it’s teaching a lesson and conditioning, providing an action and a lecture as to why it was wrong and what they can do differently to behave better. But after the punishment it’s his job to remind the little that once it’s over, the issue is dust in the wind.
What is a little?
The term little refers to a submissive that is more of a child-at-heart and plays on their child-like nature. In some communities you’ll see that the term’s original definition is used a little bit differently and losely, since you can find littles who are more interested in little space but without D/s. For the sake of talking about the dynamic and lifestyle, I’ll be using the term with D/s in mind. In general littles may require more care, attention, protection, and guidance than other submissives. Their Dominant partner acts as more of a parental or caregiver figure than other types of Dominants and are typically called names along the lines of Mommy and Daddy, but you’ll find dynamics where the Big partner is another “family” member (sister and brother or even Uncle or Aunt, for example). They feed off each other; the Big giving the support, care, and guidance, while receiving devotion, love, obedience, and playfulness that they may desire.
Not all littles are ageplayers, and not all ageplayers are submissives. Ageplay is a kink that tends to overlap. Non-ageplay littles tend to share a relationship with their Daddy/Mommy that is full of TLC (“tender loving care”; and what’s mentioned above) to feed the inner child, though the sub does not act out as a child. For littles that engage in ageplay, the little actually does take on a little persona and will roleplay as if she were that age. It can range anywhere from simply wanting to look slightly younger, like a cute dress and pig tails, to wanting a pacifier and coloring books and engaging in childish activities. These activities can be completely non-sexual and for the benefit and happiness of the little, which is why you’ll see Daddies/Mommies take part in these activities. Each little is different and has their own interests. From there the Daddy/Mommy takes on His role and acts accordingly, depending on the age, they may need more structure, guidance, and attention than other subs.
It is not uncommon for a Daddy/Mommy to establish rules to teach His little and keep them in line. These rules can range from behavioral rules to every day things such as bedtimes and bathroom privileges. Some couples even create a reward system and chart to praise when the little has been good. At the end of the week or month, prizes are rewarded for good behavior. Like other dynamics, punishments are typically given for littles who break the rules and can range from spankings to loss of privileges.
Please note that the DD/lg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia. We do not condone the acts of pedophilia and the exploitation of children in any way. Just as adults like to take on other roles in the bedroom such as nurse, pet, porn star, etc. it is all roleplay; that is the same for ageplay. No matter how taboo the roleplay or fantasy, it’s harmless as long as no one is being abused. No one is sexualizing children and the dynamic is not pedophilia. Pedophiles would not be interested in adult women anyways, no matter how young they dress or look, because they’re attracted to the idea of prepubescent children either for the sake of the easy manipulation and sex or the body. The DD/lg dynamic is like any other aspect of BDSM – it is safe, sane, and consensual between adults. Those who participate in the dynamic should be not be shamed for doing so and should not be accused of having “daddy issues”.
What DD/lg is not…
For minors or anyone under 18.
gender, sexuality, age (18+), or race specific.
just calling your boyfriend or husband “daddy” in bed This would be considered topping and bottoming. There is nothing wrong with that but since it’s bedroom play rather than a lifestyle, it differs from a D/s dynamic.
the same as sugar daddies and sugar babies.
a reason for a submissive to act like a brat and manipulate their Dom/Domme.
a way to get spoiled and give nothing in return.
Some questions regarding the dynamic
Q: I want to hop in and be a little/Daddy/Mommy, but I have no experience in the lifestyle.
A: If you’re willing to take the dynamic seriously and have what it takes then hop right in. I recommend joining Fetlife and joining DD/lg groups on there or Tumblr’s DD/lg community to learn more. Please remember that owning another person is a very big responsibility. Their safety and well-being lies in your hands. If you don’t feel like you can carry on this role and take this responsibility outside of the bedroom then a D/s dynamic may not be for you.
Q: Do I have to be an older man/woman to be a Daddy/Mommy?
A: No, this dynamic’s roles are not age specific. You will find that a lot of littles prefer older men than younger men but that’s simply a preference and living out the fantasy of Nobakov’s Lolita (which also has nothing to do with this dynamic). Your age does not disqualify you if you are a Dom and would like to engage in this dynamic.
Q: Do I have to call my Dom “Daddy”? I feel uncomfortable with that title.
A:No, you don’t. You can call your Daddy or Mommy any title that you’re both comfortable with. Being a Daddy or a Mommy is more than titles, anyone can call their partner those names and it doesn’t make them a Daddy Dom/Mommy Domme. A Daddy or Mommy is characterized based on the dynamic they have with their little – the rules and guidelines given, the expectations, the power exchange, taking on a caregiver or parental role, etc.
Don’t let a dynamic’s title name limit you, it’s simply a name given to describe the type of dynamic and differentiate it from Owner/pet and Master/slave. It’s simply a guideline. You can call your partner anything you both are comfortable with and that doesn’t change your dynamic.
Here are some alternative names:
Daddy translated in another language
Q: Are there set rules or guidelines?
A: Nope, your relationship is however you create it. But basic understandings of a D/s lifestyle will give you some basic foundation to work from, as well as letting you see how to improve your role or your partner’s.
Q: Can I engage in pet play and still be a little? A: Most definitely and it’s very common too. As I’ve come to learn, the other branches in the D/s dynamic serve as guidelines and give you an idea of what sort of relationship you’re aiming for. You’re more than welcome to take and omit whatever you’d like.
Q: Is it all about sex?
A: Not at all. Unless stated otherwise, D/s relationships are not just about sex. What makes a D/s relationship is the power exchange between then couple. Many DD/lg couples are in intimate, romantic relationships and carry on with their mixed (vanilla and kink) lives together just like vanilla couples. Also servitude and submission can be shown in many other ways and that’s for you and your partner to discuss. So if you’re asexual, you can most definitely carry on this sort of dynamic.
Q: What is the different between DD/lg and ageplay?
A: DD/lg is a D/s dynamic and involves a power exchange between the Dom and sub. ABDL and ageplay are not, instead they are forms of roleplay whether it’s sexual or not. They can be incorporated into a relationship involving power exchanges.
Q: What makes a good Daddy/Mommy?
Q: Do I have to like girly things or like baby things?
I get this question a lot. A lot of new littles think they don’t fit in with what the “ideal little look” or persona. There’s no set look to be a little. You don’t have to like what others like, such as pacifiers, diapers, Disney princesses, MLP, etc. You don’t have to engage in ageplay. You don’t have to dress up in girly clothing or like cutesy pastel colors.
Don’t let others tell you you’re not a little because you don’t like what they like.
Q: Where can I meet a Daddy, Mommy, or other littles.
DD/lg relationships have the Dominant as a more parental role than a lot of other D/s relationships. Not to be confused with age play (when one regresses to a different age during play) as littles are still the same age…DD/lg couples may participate in age play though. Many littles will enjoy doing “childish” activities like doing coloring sheets (but this is also associated with age play and may not be popular with all DD/lg couples). Generally, lg’s will often prefer or require more care and a more protective environment than other submissives (not to say any submissive doesn’t need care and protection) and DD’s will provide such care and guidance.
Balancing “big” responsibilities, especially that of being a parent, can be particularly difficult for those in a dd/lg relationship. We are constantly battling our Little habits and tendencies with the logic of being a responsible partner in a “big” relationship. This article explains how Daddy and I go about our daily lives and incorporate small parts of our dd/lg dynamic in our routine. Just because you have children does NOT mean you have to stop being who you are! Embrace it and enjoy it!
Daddy works overnights and sleeps most of the day. If I’m lucky he will go to bed early and wake up a couple of hours before we take him to work so I can spend time with him. Otherwise he stays up for a bit with me in the morning and then sleeps until he has to leave for work. I drive him to work every night and pick him up every morning and I love it. Sometimes the time in the car together is the only time I see him for the day and we can catch up or just hold hands.
During the day it’s just me and the kiddos. My oldest (Big Monster) goes to school so I have our 3 yr old (Lil Monster) and a one year old (Baby Monster) at home with me. I spend that time doing my chores and making sure Daddy is set for when he gets up. I keep the kids occupied, play with them, run errands, prepare for dinner, check up on ASI, etc.
When Daddy IS awake or on his days off Daddy and I are very affectionate with each other. Yes, even in front of our kids. There’s no groping or anything, but we kiss, hug, bite and if Daddy is playful he’ll give me a quick spanking as he’s walking by or if my bottom is available when we’re on the couch.
Another thing that I know some people may find odd is clothing is sometimes optional in our house. When my son is home and not outside with his friends, he’s usually down to his underwear.. same for Daddy. I’m not quite as comfortable, but I sometimes will venture out of the bedroom in my undies or wander from room to room naked. 🙂 My kids don’t find it strange, it is very normal for them and we’ve made the distinction between being home naked and being somewhere else. Of course, there are other topics surrounding this that we’ve also discussed with our oldest since he is at school and quite a talker.
I also don’t present or pose as some subs or slaves may do, but I always speak to him with respect. We playfully banter sometimes, but this has calmed down a bit….especially in front of the kids. My kids are young and nothing that we do has seemed out of the ordinary for them, because it’s what they are used to. I call my husband “Daddy” from time to time, but they obviously don’t make the distinction between their Daddy and my Daddy. I cook, clean, take care of the finances, make appointments, etc. Very rarely will Daddy have to do ANY of that, unless he chooses to… and that’s usually when I’ve been a good girl and it’s a special treat to me.
Play is limited to the bedroom unless the kids are staying with my parents (which is rare) and then we take advantage of the whole house! The kids are not supposed to go into our room, but, of course, sometimes do.. but they never get the chance to sneak around. All of our toys and fun things are put away, out of sight, so the kids don’t see them. Punishments are never given in front of the kids, that is also a strictly bedroom activity, and I do my best to be quiet when they do occur. I also make myself aware of my marks and bruises and do my best to dress to cover them so I don’t have the need to explain them to the kids or well-meaning family and friends.
Of course, part of our relationship is emotional and the kids definitely pick up on that. If Daddy gives me the silent treatment (which I HATE), they notice. If Daddy has Dom Drop or I have Sub Drop, they notice. If they ask what is wrong I give them a simple “Mommy/Daddy doesn’t feel good.” and do my best to cheer up for them.
Now, every d/s, dd/lg relationship dynamic will be different. Since our kids are young we’ve had it pretty easy so far. Plus, most of my Little and submissive behaviors have been present for a long time. For every Little and Daddy relationship where kids are involved you will have to make the decisions about how much to explain, what to be open about and what should come later and what chores and behaviors are appropriate for your family. Not every child will react the same to seeing their mother give daddy a foot rub when he comes home or to asking to take a seat on the couch. It may rise some questions, so be sure you are ready to answer them.