Physical contact is not necessary, and D/s can be conducted anonymously over the telephone, email, or other messaging systems. In other cases, it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into sadomasochism. In D/s, both parties take pleasure or erotic enjoyment from either dominating or being dominated. Those who take the superior position are called dominants—Doms (male) or Dommes (female)—while those who take the subordinate position are called submissives—or subs (male or female). A switch is an individual who plays either role. Two switches together may negotiate and exchange roles several times in a session. “Dominatrix” is a term usually reserved for a female professional dominant who dominates others for pay.
Note, it is common for writers to capitalise the “D” in Dominant but leave the “s” in lowercase for the submissive. Many extend this to His/Hers, Him/Her, He/She, etc., to make it clear when they are referring to a Dominant.
Ageplay or age play is a form of roleplaying in which an individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age, sexually or non-sexually. Ageplay is roleplaying between adults, and involves consent from all parties. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies, to the elderly. Usually this involves someone pretending to be younger than they actually are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role.
Ageplay can be sexual or non-sexual. It may be mildly sexual, or very sexual. Within dominant/submissive relationships, ageplay can enhance power dynamics, and allow a partner to feel more comfortable with their dominance or submission. Often, sissification of boys is present, in order to add another level of power to the situation.
Sexual variations may include among other things such as incest play, in which individuals recreate and sexualize roles within a family, and Daddy’s girl fetishism in which real or imagined age differences are the basis of the roleplaying and the female is portrayed as the younger partner.
Ageplay is not considered pedophilia or related to pedophilia by professional psychologists. Individuals who ageplay enjoy portraying children, or enjoy childlike elements typical of children present in adults.
Sexual ageplay itself does not involve the sexual attraction to biologically underage people. Rather, when a consenting adult takes on the roleplaying mindset of a young person, it is motivated by re-experiencing emotional states and social interactions of one’s youth, which also happen to be pleasurable in a sexual context to the participants.
Fear play is any sexual activity involving the use of fear to create sexual arousal. Unlike masochistic tendencies, fear play does not offer the subject pleasure or arousal through a rush of endorphins, but rather a terrified mental state which triggers a release of adrenaline. Some have likened its role to that of horror movies, in providing a harmless outlet in which to feel frightened.
Fear play is typically considered edge play, a category of BDSM-related activities with high physical or psychological risk. While Limits are usually set out in sexplay, they may be pushed or ignored in some edge play scenes to heighten sexual arousal as the subject becomes excited by the feeling of helplessness. Asphyxiation and castration play are common within edge play sub-sections of BDSM.
Some types of fear play may take advantage of a persons doubts, such as abandonment or humiliation. Others are more physically based. Medical play, knife play, or kidnappings may include a psychological aspect of fear, but it may be the physical activity that causes the emotion.
Ass worship, Body worship
Body worship is any practice of physically revering a part of another person’s body, and is usually done as a submissive act in the context of BDSM. Typical kinds of body worship include worship of muscles, the penis, the vagina, or the buttocks. Body worship is popular among people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Usually accompanied by prostration, re-enforcing a sense of inferiority, a “sub” generally licks, kisses and sucks their dominant’s body part, and is not allowed to touch it in a more conventional way. The aspect of erotic humiliation is perhaps appreciated by bearing in mind the commonplace phrase “kiss my ass”.
Worshiping a body can also be done because the worshiper is in awe of the body part and wishes to praise that beauty. Although encouragement may be provided, verbally or by spanking, body worship is typically received more or less passively, the worshiped party aloof. Facesitting and smothering are forms of body worship which differ chiefly because of their aggressive approach.
Boot worship is a term for the practice of extreme adulation of boots in BDSM, usually carried out while the footwear is being worn by the dominant partner.
It is related to foot worship in a derivative way, in that the adulation may really be attributable to the proximity of the boots to their master/mistress. The foot is usually considered one of the “lowest” and least appreciated parts of the body, and it is a kind of humiliation to be kissing and licking someone’s foot.
In Boot worship, the humiliation goes one step further. The submissive willingly worships the dominant partner’s shoes, and often without even being asked to. This reverence for the footwear that encloses the dominant partner’s foot is sometimes an expression of extreme devotion or loyalty, sometimes a concrete admission of inferiority or defeat, and sometimes both.
Thus boot worship may include sniffing or inhaling from worn boots, as well as licking, kissing or cleaning their exteriors by licking. Sometimes polishing of the boot can also be done. Chewing and eating of leather shoes can also be done.
It may also consist, more passively, of the submissive lying prone and being “trampled” by the dominant partner. Heeled boots may lend themselves to sucking, in an approximation of fellatio, anal and urethra insertion. The dominant partner can also sometimes beat the sub or slave with the footwear while wearing it. They can also have the submissive lying down in front of them and then place their boots over the submissive’s mouth, face, or body instead of the floor.
Erotic humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for the person being humiliated and demeaned or for the person humiliating, or for some spectator. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. Humiliation is a subjective issue, and is dependent on context. It does not need to be sexual in nature; as with many other sexual activities, it is the feelings that are obtained from the experience that are desired, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. Usually there is a feeling of submission for the person being humiliated, and dominance, for the person implementing the humiliation. Erotic humiliation can be done verbally and/or physically, and can take place privately or publicly. Some individuals assume an acting role and others prefer to be spoken to in a degrading way. A classic technique that can be used to put the submissive into a bottom mind space is to humiliate them while also providing them with sexual stimulation. Select individuals who desire this form of humiliation also use it to acquire emotional release. Humiliation can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance (such as online).
While fantasy and fascination with erotic humiliation is a prevalent part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, relatively little has been written on it. Humiliation play can, however, be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner, especially if it is public humiliation. Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, which some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safeword.
- Animal play, referring to the recipient as a pet, dog, or bitch; making the humiliated one eat and drink from pet food and water bowls.
- Verbal belittlement, with such words as boy, girl, missy, and pet.
- Insults and verbal abuse, such as fat, ugly, stupid, sick, disgusting, and worthless.
- Degrading names, such as slut, shit, bitch, cunt, and whore.
- Disparaging or cruel references about breasts, facial appearance, genitalia (including small penis size, erection difficulties, or circumcision status), buttocks, or about behaviors such as walking, responsiveness, and hygiene.
- Requirement to ask permission for everyday activities, such as going to the toilet, spending money, and eating.
- Forced repetition, such as the humiliated one being obliged to repeat commands that he or she has been given and to confirm them.
- Forced flattery, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant’s physical and personality traits.
- Mockery, derision, and ridicule.
- Scolding of the type commonly reserved for children.
Erotic sexual denial
also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice or sex play in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control.
One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection.
Tease and denial
Tease and denial is a situation where a person is stimulated until he or she is close to orgasm, then stimulation is stopped, keeping the person on the brink of orgasm. This is similar to orgasm control, but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm”, as opposed to being a “denied orgasm” (sometimes known in men as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
Tie and tease
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called “tie and tease” and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be possible regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. This, however, depends on the belt used.
As a form of control
Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.
Orgasm denial as a way of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The top will often deny the submissive (BDSM) sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant’s own desires to erotically humiliate.
A forced orgasm is a form of orgasm control where the active partner sexually stimulates a submissive partner to the point of the submissive’s involuntary orgasm, with the submissive attempting to restrain the onset of orgasm. In BDSM or other sexual roleplay, the submissive partner can be put in physical restraints, to enable the active partner to control the rate and duration of stimulation.
An involuntary orgasm which happens as the result of forced sexual contact, such as during rape or sexual assault, can often be associated with feelings of shame caused by internalization of victim-blaming attitudes. The incidence of those who experience unsolicited sexual contact and experience orgasm is very low, though possibly under-reported due to shame or embarrassment. Involuntary orgasms can happen regardless of gender.
Facesitting, also known as queening or kinging, is a sexual practice in which one partner sits on or over the other’s face, typically to allow or force oral–genital or oral–anal contact. In addition to oral-genital and oral-anal contact, the position also leaves the bottom partner’s hands free to stimulate other erogenous zones (e.g., anus, nipples, etc.). The top partner may be facing either direction in this position. It is common for this position to form part of BDSM, involving dominance and submission, though this need not be the case. Within a BDSM or D/s context, facesitting can be a form of erotic humiliation.
Facesitting is common among dominant and submissive individuals, for demonstrating superiority and for sexual gratification. Unlike smothering, in facesitting the bottom partner is not deprived of air. The full-weight body-pressure, moisture, sex odors and darkness can be perceived as powerful sexual attractions or compulsions. The person sat upon may be in bondage, sexually submissive, or simply held down by the body-weight of the other person.
Female dominance (or female domination) popularly known as femdom, refers to BDSM relationships and BDSM scenes in which the dominant partner is female.
Female submission describes a relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.
Submission can take the form of passivity or obedience in relation to any aspect of conduct and behavior. Submission can be to a partner in an interpersonal relationship, such as allowing the sex partner to initiate all sexual activity as well as setting the time and place and sex position. It can also be in relation to the type of sexual activity that the partners will engage in, including non-coital sex such as anal sex, or BDSM or sexual roleplay. Some sex acts require a woman to be passive while an active sex partner performs sex acts on her, and this may be seen as a form of submission. Obedience may be a part of a sexual roleplay or activity, and can also be in the relation to the style of dress, if any, or behavior or any other manner. In fact, any act that is performed on a passive woman, such as undressing her, may be regarded as submissive behavior on the part of the woman.
A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females. A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role.
Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.
Some people derive erotic pleasure from the submissiveness of a sex partner, which they may regard as a turn-on; and some people regard obvious passivity as a form of feminine flirting or seduction. Some women submit to the sexual wishes of their partner for the pleasure of the partner, which may itself result in sexual pleasure for the submissive woman.
Male dominance, or maledom, refers to BDSM activities where the dominant partner is male.
Practices of domination common to many BDSM and other various sexual relationships are also prevalent, such as various forms of body worship, cock and ball worship, ass worship, fellatio, foot worship; tease and denial; corporal punishment including spanking, breast torture, caning, whipping; orgasm denial; and as well as verbal humiliation, face slapping, hair pulling, dripping hot wax on the genitals, spitting, golden showers, “forced” chastity, and irrumatio.
Male submission describes BDSM and other sexual activities in which the submissive partner is male, and may be referred to as servant. It generally refers to sexual activities and desires in which a male-identified person, such as a man, plays a subservient role to a dominant partner. The term “male submissive” and its abbreviation malesub are widely used in BDSM subcultures to refer to such a person. The female dominant counterpart is abbreviated femdom, while the male dominant counterpart is abbreviated maledom. The term servant has also been used to refer to one devoted to the service of a lady.
Omorashi (おもらし / オモラシ / お漏らし) is a fetish subculture recognized predominantly in Japan, in which participants experience arousal from having a full bladder or arousal for seeing someone else experiencing the feeling of a full bladder. Outside Japan, it is not usually distinguished from urolagnia (urine fetish), though they are different things. Westerners who do make the distinction commonly use phrases such as “bladder desperation” or “panty wetting.” The Japanese language term from which the subculture’s name is derived means “to wet oneself,” literally translated, “leaking.” The word is also occasionally romanized as “omorasi” in the Kunrei-shiki romanization system.
Feminization or feminisation (see spelling differences), also known as sissification, is used to describe the practice, especially in female dominance, of switching the gender role of a male submissive. The male in such a process is sometimes and informally known as a sissy. Feminization is usually achieved via cross-dressing, where the male is dressed in female attire, ranging from just wearing female undergarments to being fully dressed in very feminine attire, including make-up, hairdress and nail polish. Some males take on tasks, behaviours and roles that are overtly feminine, and adopt female mannerisms and postures in tasks such as sitting, walking, and acting in a feminine manner. This emasculation may be coupled with punishments such as spanking or caning to gain cooperation and heighten submission of submissive male. Begging and pleading to stop the feminization may be part of the fantasy.
Costumes are sometimes very domestic, suggestive of servitude or ageplay. The clothes may be from those of a traditional submissive female role, such as schoolgirl, secretary or a “sissy” maid, to a princess.
Forced feminization may also include the male receiving anal sex from a female using a strap-on dildo (sometimes called pegging), or penetration from another male, or group of males. Butt plugs and other anal-penetrative toys may also be used. Anal sex is used because it may be perceived to be feminine due to its traditional use on women in heterosexual relationships, or due to the passive/receiving/submissive being penetrated, whereas the typical male role may be judged to be more active/dominant. Alternatively, the feminized male may be “forced” to perform oral sex on another male.
Another common practice in feminization is orgasm control, often through the use of a chastity belt. Also encountered in feminization are the following: erotic humiliation, bondage, petticoating, cuckoldry, leather, latex/pvc, infantilism, corporal punishment, etc.
Feminization can also involve the conversion of a masculine name into a feminine name such as “Stephen” into “Stephanie”, “Joseph” into “Josephine”, or “Daniel” into “Danielle”, as part of a constructed feminine persona. The submissive male may also be given feminine name that is different from his male name, referred to as “a good girl”, or insulted and degraded with derogatory terms usually applied to women, such as “slut” or “whore”.
In particular, a very common theme in feminization is “sissy maid” training. In a typical scenario, a male submissive, or sissy maid, is dressed in an often sexy and frilly maid uniform to help enhance the sexual thrill. The activities the sissy is made to perform range from mundane household tasks that a real maid would perform, to degrading tasks that invoke erotic humiliation. The “sissy maid” might also be instructed to perform sexual acts, however, these acts usually place the sissy in submissive or passive role.
Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.
Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.
Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.
Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.
Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the Master has the exclusive authority in all matters relating to the body and behavior of the slave, including underwear and other clothing, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. Although such contracts are not enforceable in the ways legal contracts are, they can be useful for defining in written form the limits of the arrangement between the signatories, and for documenting the consensuality of the relationships they define between them.
In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, the commitment to the relationship is celebrated by a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate, often witnessed by invited friends. The slave then wears a collar to publicly declare the slave’s subjugation and the Master’s ownership. Such a collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewelery that symbolizes slave status. Such a collar is generally not removed except for practical reasons such as medical or security requirements, unless or until the relationship is dissolved; however, a slave is sometimes permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home — for example during work or in social situations with people who may otherwise feel uncomfortable.
Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.
Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc. Some Masters adopt a holistic approach to the maintenance and long-term development of their slave by using such models as Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Depending on the relationship, one or more lesson plans may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, physical restraints, or clamping to encourage compliance, and to provide the slave with a specific reason to comply. If the trainee is also a masochist, the aversion to physical pain may be lacking, in which case psychological or emotional discomfort may be employed to create the unpleasant result that punishment requires.
Medical fetishism refers to a number of sexual fetishes involving objects, practices, environments, and situations of a medical or clinical nature. In sexual roleplay a hospital or medical scene involves the sex partners assuming the roles of doctors, nurses, surgeons and patients to act out specific or general medical fetishes. Medical fantasy is a genre in pornography, though the fantasy may not necessarily involve pornography or sexual activity.
Medical fetishism may involve sexual attraction to medical practitioners, medical uniforms, hospital gowns, anaesthesia, intimate examinations (such as rectal examination, gynecological examination, urological examination, andrological examination, rectal temperature-taking), catheterization, diapering, enemas, injections, insertion (such as suppository insertion, menstrual-cup insertion, and prostatic massage), medical devices (such as orthopedic casts and orthopedic braces; see also “Abasiophilia”), dental objects (such as dental braces, retainers, and headgear), medical restraints, and medical gags.
Some people eroticize about intimate examinations as part of a medical fetish, and as such are a common service offered by professional dominants.
An intimate examination can form part of a scene in medical play where the nurse or doctor inflicts one or more embarrassing and humiliating quasi-medical procedures on the patient. Often frozen or heated objects are introduced to the patient’s body to simulate the uncomfortable sensations that can occur during a real examination. Examinations may include an examination and intrusion of the anus, urethra, or vagina, as well as handling and twisting of the penis, testicles, and nipples. Quite often, strap on play is also incorporated, as this can heighten the intimacy, and also the sensations of the patient. This may be a prelude to masturbation or administration of an enema. Before examination, the patient can be placed in physical restraints and gagged, and wear some form of embarrassing clothing.
Temperature taking fetish is a sexual fetish for oral thermometers and rectal thermometers. This may include the sexual attraction to the equipment, processes, environments or scenarios/situations. Sexual arousal from the desire to take another’s temperature or have one’s temperature taken is primarily what surrounds the fetish. While rectal temperature taking is more prominent, there is also an interest in oral temperature taking.
Anesthesia fetishism is a sexual fetish for anesthesia. This may include the sexual attraction to the equipment, processes, substances, effects, environments or situations. Sexual arousal from the desire to administer anesthesia, or the sexual desire for oneself to be anesthetized are two forms in which an individual may exist as an arbiter of the fetish. Older-style anesthesia masks of black rubber, still in occasional use today, are one of the more common elements fetishized, and have earned the nickname Black Beauty by many fetishists.
Acts, behaviour and rituals
Anesthesia fetish is considered edgeplay when realised outside the boundaries of fantasy, and may result in various degrees of harm, or death. Fantasies are elaborated by the viewing of images and reading of stories of anesthetic inductions. Edgeplay may involve obtaining and scening with various anesthesia-related paraphernalia—usually anesthesia masks for breathplay, the acquisition of anesthetics for anesthetizing others or being anesthetized oneself, and the occupation of a medical setting or environment for the same practice.
Some anesthesia fetishists who seek to be anesthetized may feign or induce medical conditions in an attempt to obtain general anesthesia from medical personnel. This is considered safer than playing with anesthetic agents outside of a medical setting, but may nevertheless be an abuse of all concerned.
A rape fantasy (sometimes rape play) or a ravishment is a sexual fantasy involving imagining or pretending being coerced or coercing another into sexual activity. In sexual roleplay, it involves acting out roles of coercive sex. Rape pornography is literature or images associated with rape as a means of sexual arousal.
Studies have found rape fantasy is a common sexual fantasy among both men and women. The fantasy may involve the fantasist as either the one being forced into sex or as the perpetrator. A 1974 study by Hariton and Singer found that being “overpowered or forced to surrender” was the second most frequent fantasy in their survey; a 1984 study by Knafo and Jaffe ranked being overpowered as their study’s most common fantasy during intercourse. In 1985, Louis H. Janda who is an associate professor of psychology at Old Dominion University said that the sexual fantasy of being raped is the most common sexual fantasy for women. A 1988 study by Pelletier and Herold found that over half of their female respondents had fantasies of forced sex.
The most frequently cited hypothesis for why women fantasize of being forced and coerced into some sexual activity is that the fantasy avoids societally induced guilt—the woman does not have to admit responsibility for her sexual desires and behavior. A 1978 study by Moreault and Follingstad was consistent with this hypothesis, and found that women with high levels of sex guilt were more likely to report fantasy themed around being overpowered, dominated, and helpless. In contrast, Pelletier and Herold used a different measure of guilt and found no correlation. Other research suggests that women who report forced sex fantasies have a more positive attitude towards sexuality, contradicting the guilt hypothesis. A 1998 study by Strassberg and Lockerd found that women who fantasized about force were generally less guilty and more erotophilic, and as a result had more frequent and more varied fantasies. Additionally, it said that force fantasies are clearly not the most common or the most frequent.
45.8% of men in a 1980 study reported fantasizing during heterosexual intercourse about “a scene where they had the impression of being raped by a woman” (3.2% often and 42.6% sometimes), 44.7% of scenes where a seduced woman “pretends resisting” and 33% of raping a woman.
A male sexual fantasy of raping a woman may bring sexual arousal either from imagining a scene in which first a woman objects but then comes to like and eventually participate in the intercourse, or else one in which the woman does not like it and arousal is associated with the idea of hurting the woman.
A study of college-age women when found over half had engaged in fantasies of rape or coercion which, another study claims, are within the normal range of female sexuality.
One form of sexual roleplaying is the rape fantasy, also called ravishment or forced sex roleplay. In BDSM circles (and occasionally outside these circles as well), some people choose to roleplay rape scenes – with communication, consent and safety being especially crucial elements. Though consent is a crucial component of any sexual roleplay, the illusion of non-consent (i.e. rape) is important to maintaining this type of fantasy. Due to this, the usage of a safeword is a necessary safety measure, given that words that would normally halt sexual activity (i.e. stop) are often disregarded in these scenes. Continuing with the sexual roleplay after a safeword has been used constitutes assault, as the use of a safeword indicates the withdrawal of consent.
In domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant, such as serving as a butler, waitress, chauffeur, maid or houseboy.
In workplace BDSM, the submissive can somehow secretly contrive that a work colleague, of the same or opposite gender to the submissive, unwittingly finds themselves with imagined or real work-related disciplinary power and/or status over the submissive. The created dominant may never realise they are bringing secret pleasure and satisfaction to the submissive, in the giving of orders or else in rebuking the submissive for supposed performance failings at the workplace, such as “laziness”.
The satisfaction of servitude are often combined with the pleasures of fetishes, the pleasures of humiliation, or both. A submissive may rub his or her dominant’s feet because the sub enjoys providing the service, has a foot fetish, enjoys being “lower” than the dominant, or any combination. But some bottoms who enjoy servitude prefer to keep their enjoyment and pleasure secret from all others including person(s) they have created as their “dominant”. There are those in the BDSM community who frown upon this practice, however, as surreptitiously putting someone in a dominant position violates the principle of consent.
In other situations, the submissive may also enjoy being collared and leashed, and in some aspects being treated like an animal. Leashes can also be attached to piercings.
Sexual slavery in a BDSM relationship refers to a submissive person in a BDSM relationship consenting to a dominant person (also called a slave owner or the master or mistress) treating the submissive as their slave, i.e., their property. Sexual slavery in a BDSM context is both a sexual fantasy or sexual roleplay. The slave master or mistress might be any person or group, though the majority of such relationships are usually either one dominant, or a committed dominant couple, owning one or more slaves. A sex slave and the owner, and others involved in the relationship, can be of any gender, sexual identity, or orientation.
The use of the term ‘sex slave’ rather than just ‘slave’ is sometimes used to differentiate between consensual slavery and non-consensual slavery, because sex is not a necessary component of consensual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. Not all submissives are slaves, though all slaves would normally be considered submissive in the relationship. However some calling themselves ‘slave’ may only be submissive within a sexual context/activity whilst others are also submissive within other or all aspects of the relationship, ‘sex-slave’ or ‘slave’ respectfully.
Sexual slavery is a consensual exchange of power by the submissive to the dominant, though the scope of the surrender of discretion may be limited and may be withdrawn at any time.
The types of activities that the sex slave may be expected to perform are usually defined in advance and sometimes spelled out in a slave contract, a document that outlines the desires, limits, and expectations of the parties. The sex slave is often expected to perform sexually, though typically many relationship-oriented dynamics are also clearly negotiated, including clothing, diet, speech restrictions, household affairs and schedules, though the details may be left to the master or mistress. Typically outlined are clear expectations of whether the couple will be monogamous or polyamorous, and if there would be permission or expectation of sexual interaction with other people. Otherwise, a sex slave may be expected to perform many of the same functions that are expected of a slave/submissive, including wearing very revealing clothes, being shared, wearing a slave collar or leash, S&M activities, or bondage.
A Master & slave relationship is normally a long-term relationship, comparable in duration to ‘normal relationships’ whereas a Dominant – submissive relationship could be of a similar duration or shorter from a few minutes, as in a scene. Depending on their contract, a sex slave may be traded by the master, facilitated by sex club events, personals in BDSM interest magazines or internet based social networks. Commonly, a slave is also said to be a collared slave, though not every slave wears a physical slave collar.
A slave who has satisfied the duration of the negotiated time of service is expected to be released, unless a new duration of service is negotiated. A slave may at any time withdraw consent to the relationship, effectively nullifying the slave relationship.