hair bondage: Bondage technique in which the hair is secured in such a way as to limit mobility of the bound person’s head, upper body, etc., also done for the sensation it gives.
handkerchief codes, hanky codes: Visible signs to indicate to others your area of BDSM interest. Originated in the leather movement to signal one’s interests in a public environment, such as a bar or club.
hard limit: What someone absolutely will not do, usually non-negotiable (may or may not be subject to change over time).
harem: A group of submissives in the service of one or more Dominants.
harness:(1) For dress/showing off, as in pony play. (2) For bondage or suspension.
hedonistic Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses
heteroflexible: A person who identifies as primarily heterosexual but can occasionally find the same sex appealing; or is willing, in some situations, to have contact with the same sex.
“high maintenance” submissive (see Topping from the bottom) One who desires much attention and D/s play in order to be fulfilled. May be bratty orpushy. This submissive will be happiest in a 24/7 relationship. (There are other causes of high maintenance such as health issues, family, etc.)
hobble skirt: A skirt which is very narrow just below the knees. Intended to restrict movement and cause very small steps. (Caution: when combined with high heels, there is increased danger of falling.)
hog tie: A bondage technique in which one or both ankles are bound to the wrists, usually behind the back.
homoflexible: A person who identifies as primarily homosexual but can occasionally find the opposite sex appealing; or is willing, in some situations, to have contact with the opposite sex.
hood: Wide range of coverings which totally encase the head, often made of leather or PVC. May have openings for eyes, nose, and/or mouth.
horse (spanking, bondage, wooden; see furniture): A piece of bondage furniture consisting of a plank supported by two legs on each end, similar to a sawhorse. A person may be bent or tied over the horse and flogged or spanked. Varying widely in style, these are often “homemade”.
House, household (House usually capitalized): A grouping of three, but usually more, people who share some aspect of kink, or follow or honor one or more of the people or concepts of the household. It is common that there is one or more leader, usually (but not always) a Dominant. Each House or household has its own style, rules (if any), and interactions. See Family, Clan, above;
humiliation; humiliation play (see embarrassment, psychological play): Although the two terms are somewhat synonymous, “humiliation” is consideredgood pain in BDSM circles, while “embarrassment” is bad pain. Humiliation can come about in a variety of ways, from gentle teasing to objectification. Like pain, humiliation is desired by many submissive personalities, as well as being pleasurable or entertaining to many Dominants. It can also be a tool for pushing limits, or even (carefully) punishment. Humiliation can be psychologically very intense, and should be explored gradually.
hypnosis: See erotic hypnosis.