P – glossary

Pack: A Family structure, often used by primals or gay men. It may be “wilder,” or just a preferred term. The main reference is at family in pain slut: A masochist; a person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain; may or may not enjoy submitting. They may gain sexual pleasure, or crave the experience of “subspace”.

panic attack (“freakout”): A situation in which a bottom is badly startled or becomes anxious or frightened, resulting in either becoming “frozen” or involuntary physical struggle. If startled—for example, a surprise “tickle attack”, injury may result; such as a broken nose from a flying elbow. Anxiety or fright may result from many things: bondage, pain, kidnap or rape play, edge play, etc. The “trigger” may not even be known before it happens. Precautions: When trying a form of play that the bottom has not experienced before, introduce it cautiously. In a new type of bondage, design a quick release feature; a pair of medical type scissors (strong, sharp, but with blunt ends for cutting close to skin) should be handy for rope bondage or mummification. Other types of play, such as new or stronger impact play, kidnap or rape play, or edge play, should be introduced without bondage.

pansexual: Not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.

paraphilia (see fetish): A desire for erotic enjoyment based on an object, activity, or body part not generally considered sexual; for example, stuffed animals, shampooing, noses.

pearl necklace: When a man ejaculates onto a neck; the drops resemble pearls.

pedophile (1) A person who has desires to interact sexually with, or have dominant control over, a minor; and is more than two or three years older than the minor. (2) A person who has acted on such desires, which constitutes criminal activity.

pedophilism: Actions of a pedophile, or tendency towards being a pedophile (see above).

pegging: (1) The practice of using a strap-on dildo for penetration (generally applied female-to-male anal). (2) Sitting on a “peg” (like a butt plug, but fixed in place) with the intent of expanding the anus to facilitate anal sex, fisting, etc. (see anal training).

permission: Nearly all power exchange relationships require the submissive to ask permission for certain things. Common examples: To leave the Dominant’s presence, to go to the bathroom, to eat or drink, to have an orgasm.

pervert 1. One whose sexual behavior is considered unacceptably deviant (at least from a vanilla perspective). 2. DeFUNition: A person whose kink is not the same as yours.

pervertable: Common item which can be applied for sexual, fetish, or other BDSM purpose; i. e. wooden spoons, chopsticks, spatulas, clothes pins, belts, saran wrap, etc.

pet play: (1) A submissive is treated as a loved and valued pet; as in puppy or pony.

p-gasm: see progasm below

phallic symbol: An object having some resemblance to the penis, or proportioned like a penis. Example: The Washington Monument has been referred to as the “world’s largest phallic symbol”.

phallus: 1. A penis. 2. A penis substitute: dildo, vibrator, etc.

pinwheel: see Wartenberg pinwheel, below

play: 1. To engage in a BDSM scene or session (see scene). 2. A type of D/s or fetish activity, as in humiliation play, age play, toilet play, edge play.

play collar (see Collar):1. A collar used only in play or at BDSM events. A play collar does not signify that the submissive or slave is owned but may signify that s/he is committed for the night or session. 2. A collar used for a specific type of play, as in a dog collar or any of a number of bondage collars.

play party: A gathering for the purpose of enjoying BDSM play. May be held at someone’s home, or in a club-owned or commercial space (often referred to as a dungeon) specifically intended for the purpose. Usually has specific rules governing the safety and conduct of attendees (see House rules, Club rules).

play punishment: Punishment which happens for fun/play, also can be known as ‘funishment’. The aim of this is not to correct the s-type’s behaviour, but to experience the punishment itself.

plushie: One who plays with stuffed/plush animals, may or may not be sexually.

poly: Usually short for polyamory, sometimes polyfidelity (see directly below.) Poly lifestyle has special terms for the non-standard relationships, listed here, such as paramour, metamour

polyamory: 1. Having multiple relationships with persons not in the same household; also called open marriage, open relationship. 2. Participating in living situations with more than one person; also called family, group “marriage”, multiple “marriage”, polygamy.

polyfidelity: Group of people committed to each other, not having sexual or romantic ties outside of the commitment group, sometimes also called a family, group marriage, multiple marriage, or polygamy.

polysexual: Having sex with multiple partners without commitment. Often done in group parties or orgies.

POV: an adult film acronym for “point of view” where the “star” is interacting with the viewer by looking directly into the camera, talking to the audience, etc.

Positions: Refers to names or signals for body positions that a slave must assume when used by an authorized Mistress or Master. For greater detail, seeSlave Positions and Gorean slave Positions.

power exchange: Any situation where two or more people consensually and voluntarily agree to a relationship in which one (or more) people assume authority and one (or more) people yield authority, either for a predetermined time, or indefinitely. Relationships based on indefinite power exchange are often referred to as Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationships. The defining factor of power exchange is the conscious, deliberate construction of a power dynamic in which at least one person assumes psychological control to some agreed-upon extent over at least one other person.

predicament bondage: A type of bondage in which the intent is to place the bound person in an awkward, difficult, inconvenient, or uncomfortable situation, or to set out a challenge for the bound person to overcome.

primal: Please see: “Roles, Orientations and Genders Defined”

pro-Dom/pro-Domme/pro-sub: professional who dominates or submits to paying customers. May or may not be an actual “kinkster”; may or may not include sex as part of the “service”.

progasm (see cock milking, prostate massage): An orgasm from massage of the prostate only, without penile stimulation.

prostate massage:( see p-gasm, cock milking): Stimulation of the prostate by a finger or object inserted into the anus. May be used alone (as in “cock milking”) or for enhancement of orgasms through intercourse, oral sex or masturbation. Can cause involuntary discharge of semen without orgasm (see “cock milking”, in which this is the primary goal). May cause some discomfort, especially at first, but can result in intense pleasure; a substitute in men for the female ability to experience repeated or extended orgasms. Caution: Prolonged or rough treatment of the prostate can cause long-lasting symptoms of pain, swelling, and difficult or painful urination, especially if the subject is already prone to prostate problems. As with any anal play, the tissues of the anus and rectum must be treated with caution. Rubber gloves and plenty of lubrication should be used; for “toys”, a condom is a good idea.

Protector: Someone who acts as a “screener” for a submissive, generally screening and evaluating prospective Dominants for suitability and recommending that safe practices are followed if they should come to the point of physically meeting. The specifics of a Protector/sub relationship vary, according to the needs and wishes of those involved, and are negotiated, in a process similar to, but much less complex than, the negotiations that take place between “D-types” and “s-types”. (If one is “under Protection”, messaging the Protector for approval to contact the submissive is generally expected and failure to do so is generally grounds for refusing to interact with the person who does so, often enforced by blocking such people.)protocol: A formalized set of rules controlling the interaction between Dominants and submissives. This can be at any level. (1) In an individual relationship, a Dominant usually dictates certain rules for given situations, such as forms of address in speech or writing, when to kneel, what to ask permission for, and how to behave online, in public or with lifestyle friends, as just a few examples. There may be different levels of protocol; for example, when wearing the Collar, the submissive may be expected to behave in a more ritualistic fashion (sometimes referred to as “high protocol”). The rules may be more relaxed, or “low protocol”, when the couple is interacting in casual, everyday mode. (2) A BDSM group or club may establish a protocol for interaction between its members; for example, how a submissive addresses another Dominant, how a Dom may interact with an unattached sub, etc. (3) Various sectors of the BDSM community, for example the leather community orGoreans, may have very detailed and explicit “high protocol” rules for interaction between its members.

psycholagny: a sexual term that refers to the ability to reach or achieve orgasm without any physical stimulation of the genitalia, usually achieved through mental stimulation or fantasy alone. Also referred to as a “psychic orgasm”.

psychological bondage (also mental bondage): Being forced to remain in a position by orders of the Dominant.pudenda (plural; pudendum singular): The external genitals; usually the femalegenitals. Note: Derived from a latin term meaning “parts of shame”, this word goes to show how the female sex organs were regarded during the baroque era, when this word came into use, and up to the 1950s or so, when it was still in common use, at least in the medical professions. “Pudenda… ick… unclean!”

punishment: a penalty inflicted for an offense, fault, etc. Usually to correct behaviour.

pup-play or puppy play: See pet play.

“push a limit” (see consent, hard limit, soft limit, red flags): To cautiously explore the nature of a submissive’s limit, either to challenge her or to encourage her to do something she is reluctant to do, but which her Dominant desires.

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