takedown: Scenario in which the bottom is forcibly restrained. This is often the case in the initiation of forcible play such as rape play or abduction/kidnapping play. Being given “permission” to struggle as if fighting for his/her life can tremendously enhance the experience for the submissive; an element of surprise can make it even more intense. Safety: This can be dangerous, especially if the “surprise” element is involved. It is important to discuss, perhaps even rehearse, the scenario to reduce the chance of injury. A safewordshould be in place in order to let the other party know if one is hurt or “freaking out”.
taken in hand (TIH): A monogamous, heterosexual relationship which is male-led, and in which the female defers in matters of everyday life, as well as sexually, to her partner. Similarities in Christian domestic discipline (CDD) and various “era” style relationships (1950s, ‘60s, etc)
tawse or slapper: A paddle with two pieces of leather that make a loud “popping” sound when used.
tease and denial: Keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (see also orgasm denial).
TENS unit: A device which applies electrical currents through pads affixed to the skin. Commonly used in the medical community to relieve pain by blocking the transmission of pain impulses through the nerves. Stands for “transconductance electrical nerve stimulation.”
The Next Generation (TNG): A nationwide coalition of BDSM clubs intended to target the 18-35 age group. (While their goal is to make D/s more accessible to younger practitioners, some feel that their intent is to protect “their” young submissives from “poaching” by older Dominants.)
tit torture: see breast torture, nipple torture.
toilet: (see toilet play) A bottom who wishes to be used for toilet-related activities.
toilet play; toilet training, toileting: Play or discipline having to do with the submissive’s elimination of bodily wastes. (DeFUNition: May or may not involve an actual toilet). Also see bladder control
Top drop: A sudden, abrupt feeling of depression, unhappiness, or similar negative emotion in a Dominant or Top which may occur after a period of BDSM activity. Some Tops experience it regularly; with others, it may happen when the “scene” did not go as planned, or goes counter to the Top’s ingrained beliefs, either immediately or even days later, and often lessened or prevented byaftercare. (Also see sub drop, domdrop, aftercare)
Topping from the bottom (TFTB) or Topping from below / beneath: A submissive or bottom who attempts to manipulate the Top, in an attempt to gain attention or to have his/her own needs met; for example, intentionally misbehaving to draw punishment. (This is generally considered to be extremelynegative behavior. However, in some relationships, a certain amount of”pushiness” or ”brattiness” is tolerated and enjoyed.)
torture; torture play: (1) Sadistic pain inducement on various areas of the body, often to the point of leaving temporary or permanent marks or scars. (2) “Scene” in which torture scenarios are enacted (examples: dungeon, prison, “captive spy”, etc).
total power exchange (TPE): (see 24/7) A high level of D/s practice, striving for living in a D/s context as much as possible. The Dominant has complete and total power over the submissive’s life. Some TPE relationships do not recognize contracts, safewords, or limits.
toy (see objectification): One who is treated and used, not like a person but like a toy; sex toy, play toy, dog toy, fuck toy.
training: (1) Instruction by a more experienced member of the community in various aspects of BDSM (see Mentoring). (2) Education and discipline of a submissive. May refer to the entire program a Dominant employs to condition his/her submissive; or to individual disciplines, such as pony training, toilet training, etc.
transgender: A person who lives (full-time or only under certain circumstances) as the opposite gender from which they were born. May or may not have had chemical treatments or surgery. Not necessarily an indication of their sexual partner preference.
transsexual: A person who has strong desires to become the opposite of their birth sex. They may undergo chemical treatments or surgery to change their appearance. Not necessarily an indication of their sexual partner preference.
transvestite: A person who dresses and/or behaves in a manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex. Not necessarily an indication of their sexual partner preference.
tribadism, tribbing: Act of two women rubbing their vulvas together. Slang: clam jousting, scissoring, clit-clatting, touchin’ tacos, mashin’ cookies, bumpin’ donuts, gash mashing.
tribbing: see tribadism above.
triskelion: The more or less universally recognized symbol of BDSM.
troll (see wannabe): A person who uses online resources, primarily as a source for prospective partners. May pretend they are experienced in BDSM when they are not.
twoo, twue: A derogatory term for those that believe there is one ‘true’ way to do things, the kind of people that will say you are not a true submissive if you do not immediately fall at their feet, or you are not a true dom if you don’t chase them around with a whip 24/7.